Suffering to Learn - Blessed Opportunities (Part 4)

"Wow bro. You must be in a lot of pain."

I remember those being the most encouraging words my ears had heard in a long time. I was talking to a friend of mine who had experienced the same thing I was going through years before. For the first time, I had someone who could understand my pain. For the first time, I had someone who could give my some justification to how hard it was. For the first time, I had someone who could tell me it sucks, but there was hope.

It was at the moment I realized that such a deep resounding need in the human life is the aspect of feeling known and understood. The power behind the "I've been there" was incredible. I instantly felt a connection, attentive to each of his words more so than anyone I had talked to previously.

Though suffering may never be "fixed", it has the potential to not be wasted. Suffering, in a hard way to explain, can be an unbelievable blessing. It provides you that seemingly instant credibility to those who are also suffering. Oh the opportunities that brings that otherwise would have never been present! It has incredible purpose.

Sufferers can often have the most profound ministries.

Suffering to Learn - Rejoice (Part 3)

God gets you through trials, not necessarily around trials. Many of you might have heard some inaccurate teaching growing up, saying that God is going to fix everything. And, well, He will... but it won't be fixed until after you die (they might have left out that part). The occurrences of trials, as stated in the Bible, is not a question of if, but a question of when.

God is just as active in the low points of life as He is during the high (and probably even more conceptually so, because people rarely notice God or pay heed to Him until things are going bad and we call out for help)... so much so that the Bible even instructs us to "rejoice" in our sufferings. Now, I don't naturally rejoice with hardship. It's not my first response, or my second, or third... Though I'm a fairly positive person, I'm not the smore-eating, jumping-around-the-campfire-for-Jesus type. It takes me a while, a long while - like around response seventy-two - to get me to that point of being able to rejoice.

During these times, there are a few things that have proven themselves to be my "cling to" items, to help that rejoice process:

God's purification

Suffering is always purifying. I do have to believe, and past experience has reinforced, that suffering truly is for our good (though it's hardest to believe that in the midst of it). Trials continue to raise sin to the surface so that it can be scooped out accordingly. It allows us the opportunity to investigate and judge ourselves. If EVERYTHING is taken away, is God truly... not as in a flippant, quick, un-investigated "truly", but a deep, soul-wrenching "truly"... enough for you, for me?

On the other hand, everything requires trust, and that is what God seeks. Therefore, everything is allowed or destined in hopes to greenhouse that trust. I remember going through this process, when trying to deal with if surgery was the right answer or not. I had countless "reliable professionals" all yelling at me to do different things... the surgeons told my to do surgery, the physical therapists told me to do physical therapy, and the chiropractors told me to chiropractic methods... all vouching that the other was wrong. It got the the point where I had enough information, but that wasn't enough to make a decision. Even that, required stepping out in faith, taking action, and trusting God with the results.

God's love

Suffering is really weighty. You should never deny it, but what you need is to counter-balance it. One such way is just to try and soak in and dwell on God's love. Now awareness of love is hard, especially if that love is being "tested" in any way. So, you most undoublty can never look to the present for the evidence to lead you to your conclusion, but to the past. That is where the sufferer needs to focus on what God has done in the past, both through them personally as well as through the world historically, to draw out the evidence needed for them to dwell on that love.

Though suffering is heavy, God' s love is heavier. And though the sufferer might have a hard time believing this as they struggle with self-consumption... suffering is NOT the worse thing in the world. There is something much worse. And that is not knowing God personally, not having a steadfast relationship with Him to stand on, being objects of wrath. That, indeed, is the worse thing of all.

God's grace

One I have frequently had to take in time and time again is God's continuous grace. If sufferers are much like me, you don't handle the situation of suffering very well. So, not only does the process bring up all this sin in your life, but you also can quickly get the burden of not being a "good Christian" by how you've handled the trial process itself. The beauty of God is one to bathe in... being one who, no matter how messy we are, always welcomes us back with wide arms. And as the cosmic Mr. Clean of the universe, is always able to clean us up once again.

God's finale

You may suffer greatly, but when you die and stand before God, having finished strong with no regrets... whoa... what a feeling! The simple fact is that everybody dies, but how you die is what differs. There will soon be a time when Christ will return, this world will come to an end, and suffering will be gone forever! That is why the Bible so frequently talks about hope. Hope, in of itself, is a forward looking entity. You never hope in the present, you hope for the future! And that future, the one with the large "Suffering-Free" label, is what we hope in, and in that we rejoice.

Suffering to Learn - Blessed Revelations (Part 2)

Living in a comfort-focused society and culture, when it comes to suffering, the goals tend to be either to avoid it altogether or attempt to get through with it as fast as possible. We never actually take the time to instead learn how to be good at it. I mean, it's not something one would normally think about in regards to things you're good at... football, math, suffering... To attempt to avoid suffering is natural, but to embrace it is supernatural.

As I began to read Don Piper's book, the flood gates of conviction were opened wide, as the book provided raw, unedited emotion that echoed in my situation... one prone to sin, bitterness, and the like. The following were a few key points in regards to understanding myself and my own sin that the Lord walked me through, that I think can resonate with other sufferers:

Problem with Selfishness

Suffering can easily make you self-focused. All-consuming, narrow-visioned, self-focused. We can allow the suffering to become our justification to avoid the rest of the world around us. The only tears we shed are for ourselves. Our suffering slowly begins to become our new identity. We can even begin to use our suffering as justification to sin in other areas, thinking it gives us some perverse thoughts of entitlement to do whatever we want because we are suffering.

It's easy to think, "God, this is SO unfair! I'm an innocent victim here!", to which God says, "So was my Son." The sufferer needs to remember that, though what happened is tragic and pain felt is real, that selfishness is not the solution. It's not all about them. We need to instead focus our sights on Christ, being renewed by His understanding of our suffering, as well as even grieved by how our sin caused Him to suffer.

Problem with Pride

I try to tend to be a positive person, looking on the brighter outlook of life. However, the negative side of that, combined with some acting skills, makes me prone to never let people in. I brush off people wanting to get close and help. I avoided fellowship, streaming from one side of not even desiring to be around people to the other side of not wanting to be a burden to others. I didn't want encouragement, I didn't want people... I wanted results.

What the sufferer needs to know is that fellowship is a necessary component to reap the full purpose of the suffering process. You can't allow yourself to distance yourself from others, turning you down a horrible spiral of isolation. The most effective strategy to leave someone vulnerable is to take out their wingmen. At the same time, the sufferer must realize that to deny people's help is to deny them the ability to minister to us. Sufferers tend to be good at helping, but suck at being helped... all stemmed from a root of pride.

I remember when this wall came down for me (not by choice). I was attempting to pack for my flight home, which was all it was... an attempt. I would get up for about one minute, try to throw some shirts in a bag before the pain got too overwhelming and I had to lay back down. I would continue that process over and over, until at one point I just broke down in tears, throwing my hands up... I need help! I can't do this alone!

Problem with Idols

One of the largest bitter-sweet moments for the sufferer is the revelation of who their God really is. When we suffer, our idols rise to the surface... they are the places we go to indulge ourselves to aid for the pain. Food, sex, drinking, drugs? You will worship something, it's just a matter of determining what that is. The root is idoltry.

I remember laying in my bed, staring at my Bible... with no desire to open it up what-so-ever. I don't know if it was a combined emotion with being angry and confused with God about the whole situation, or if it was the mere fact that I had a worship problem. I would go to all other venues I knew how to deal with the suffering... food, video games, movies, emotional pity-parties... even the aquistion of knowledge could clearly be seen as an idol for me, as I looked to spend my time going to books and information for comfort rather than the Lord. Even times when people would send me encouraging Scripture, and I would just roll my eyes and not even read it.

In suffering, our worship and identity is tested. It provides an amazing opportunity to worship God or learn how to worship Him better. Many of these idols in my life would never have come to the surface, had I not had to go through this process. Through suffering, you have the grace to see what or who your functional Savior is, not your proclaimed Savior (if they are in contradiction).

Problem of Worth

Everyone always seeks purpose and meaning for their lives. However, when suffering hits, we tend to see that is a bump in the road, a hindrance to our destination, rather than a loaded turbine to project us forward. The sufferer, still being self-consumed, can feel worthless, depressed, alone.

I remember laying in bed alone, again in tears because of the built up emotional stress coupled with the phyiscal pain. I remember just yelling out, "What good am I here?!" I literally thought I possessed percisely zero value for the Kingdom of Heaven laying in a bed. Then, while reading through some old journal entries, I recalled an old prayer that I made me both cry and laugh at the same time. "Lord, teach me what it looks like to 'Be still, and know that you are God'."

Well, I didn't really have many options but to "be still", so I just began to focus on the "that you are God" part. Instantly, the Lord began running Scripture through my head, reminding me about how He didn't need me. My value to Him was not determined by what I could do FOR Him. God just wanted me... disabled, vulnerable, and emotional Jon Neal. He loves me just as I am, and I need to continually just be still, and know that He IS God, and all that that entails.

20 Ways to Get Mentally Tough

A phrase I've heard before in leadership-world is that leaders should be like turtles... soft on the inside, with a hard shell on the outside; the metaphor describing that leaders should be caring and compassionate on the inside, but being thick-skinned enough to handle the wealth of criticism that will inevitably cross their path. Being a person who continually struggles with people pleasing and perception management, the following list was good for me to read:

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1. When you face a setback, think of it as a defining moment that will lead to a future accomplishment.

2. When you encounter adversity, remember, the best don’t just face adversity; they embrace it, knowing it’s not a dead end but a detour to something greater and better.

3. When you face negative people, know that the key to life is to stay positive in the face of negativity, not in the absence of it. After all, everyone will have to overcome negativity to define themselves and create their success.

4. When you face the naysayer’s, remember the people who believed in you and spoke positive words to you.

5. When you face critics, remember to tune them out and focus only on being the best you can be.

6. When you wake up in the morning, take a morning walk of gratitude and prayer. It will create a fertile mind ready for success.

7. When you fear, trust. Let your faith be greater than your doubt.

8. When you fail, find the lesson in it, and then recall a time when you have succeeded.

9. When you head into battle, visualize success.

10. When you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future, instead focus your energy on the present moment. The now is where your power is the greatest.

11. When you want to complain, instead identify a solution.

12. When your own self-doubt crowds your mind, weed it and replace it with positive thoughts and positive self-talk.

13. When you feel distracted, focus on your breathing, observe your surroundings, clear your mind, and get into The Zone. The Zone is not a random event. It can be created.

14. When you feel all is impossible, know that with God all things are possible.

15. When you feel alone, think of all the people who have helped you along the way and who love and support you now.

16. When you feel lost, pray for guidance.

17. When you are tired and drained, remember to never, never, never give up. Finish Strong in everything you do.

18. When you feel like you can’t do it, know that you can do all things through Him who gives you strength.

19. When you feel like your situation is beyond your control, pray and surrender. Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t.

20. When you’re in a high-pressure situation and the game is on the line, and everyone is watching you, remember to smile, have fun, and enjoy it. Life is short; you only live once. You have nothing to lose. Seize the moment.

Excerpt was taken from here

Doing Whatever it Takes

Irronically, after just writing my previous post, I stumbled upon this interview with Dino Rizzo, church planter, author, and a man focused on serving others.

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Q: Dino, there is an idea out there, held by many Christians, that the job of the Church is to meet peoples’ spiritual needs (salvation) and then, if we have extra time or money laying around, meet their physical needs. How do you address this mindset?

A: To answer your question, I don’t believe we should have to choose between the two. At the end of the day, we want to see people come to Jesus. And serving is a means to that end but it isn’t the end itself. What we really want to do is help the cause of Christ come alive in people’s hearts, but the path to that is serving people where they are. It’s all one package - one goal - seeing people live out God’s plan for their lives. And we need to be willing to do whatever it takes, whenever it is needed.

God is doing phenomenal things at Healing Place Church thru their attitude of service. To learn more, check-out the website www.SERVOLUTION.org.

Spoken, Affirmed by Action

This is a segment from a blog post by Michael Mckinley, from the Church Matters: 9Marks site.

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We must beware the popular “share the Gospel, and if necessary use words” mindset.

Similarly, the Gospel is, properly speaking, preached, not done (though our actions can certainly affirm it, e.g., John 13:34-35 [even here it is interesting to note that it is our love for one another that is said to point to the Gospel!]).

Social ministry done by the church should be self-consciously engaged in with the hope, prayer and design of sharing the Gospel. J. Gresham Machen wrote that “material benefits were never valued in the apostolic age for their own sake, they were never regarded as substitutes for spiritual things. That lesson needs to be learned. Social betterment, though important, is insufficient; it must always be supplemented by God’s unspeakable gift,” (J. Gresham Machen, New Testament, ed., John Cook, pp. 345-346).

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I found it intriguing, especially for myself, being someone who has used, shared, and proclaimed the very "share the gospel, use words if necessary" phrase over many years. However, I must say, my perspective does seem to be changing. To be honest, it comes more with a realization of my own sin, this phrase acting as a cover-up for fear, in my soul hoping to be used as a crutch to grasp onto comfort -

-You just love people, people think you're a nice person and think well of you
-You share the gospel with people, an offensive message, you could face persecution

I've never heard many stories of people loosing friends just by loving them, but I have heard many people loosing friends because of their commitment to sharing Christ. The gospel CANNOT be shared unless it is proclaimed... plain and simple. I've met lots of people in my life who have loved me well, but if I never knew Christ to begin with, I would never heard about Him. Ideally, we would love people so well that it would drive them to ask questions which could lead to the gospel (another mindset I held strongly for sometime). However, I had to once again give myself a honest heart check... and ask, "who has been asking?"

Don't hear me wrong with this. I am not advocating not loving people... what freakin' foolishness that would be! We are called to love people outrageously! However, what I am advocating for is that the gospel needs to be preached and proclaimed, with its message being affirmed and confirmed by loving actions.... opposed to the other way around.

Even as stated above in John 13:34-35, love points to the Gospel... again, establishing a position of affirmation rather than focus. By our love, people will know, or be sure, that we are Christ's disciples. The love affirms a pre-existing understanding, that is, that we are Christ's disciples, which had to be communicated prior. It's a matter of focus.

I guess a large factor for me that influences this is how sinful I still remain. By God's grace, I try love people. But there are times I fail... many times. Do I really want my actions being the only thing revealing Christ? I can't, in my heart, say yes to that.

Share like crazy, love like crazy. Again, even as I write this, these two entities are linked... they are hand-in-hand. The peanut butter and jelly of the Bible (well, unless you're allergic to peanuts, in which I pity you, and the analogy breaks down). Do NOT attempt to separate them. However, I do feel proper focus is needed, and it should be clear what affirms what.

God is love, and the best way to love people is to introduce them to Him.

As John Piper would say, we are in the business of relieving all suffering, ESPECIALLY eternal suffering.

Suffering to Learn - The Situation (Part 1)

The Situation

So, posts have been few and far between. The largest, and, well, basically only reason for that is my current medical situation. In mid-January I ended up pulling something in my lower back. After some initial care and rest, the pain eventually subsided, and I thought nothing else of it, as it was soon replaced by new stream of other phyiscal alignments (food poisoning, consequent hemorrhoid, immobilizing flu, etc.).

However, come mid-March I began noticing intense pain in my left leg, streaming my from my buttocks to about my knee, with occasional tingling and numbness. The condition continued to worsen, to the point where I wasn't even really able to stand or walk anymore. An MRI revealed that one of my discs in my spine had ruptured, cutting off and pinching the nerve strand that traveled to my left leg. Due to the severity of the rupture, I was immediately placed on a flight back to the United States to get treatment; a process that took about 72 hours after my realized condition (arriving home six weeks ahead of schedule).

So, as of today, I'm approaching four weeks of being completely bed-ridden. Minor improvements have been made, but those victories are small, such as being able to get up and stand long enough in the bathroom to brush my teeth. I'm undergoing phyiscal therapy for the next few weeks, as much of my muscle strength has diminished. I have an appointment scheduled with my surgeon on June 18, where we will evaluate my progress and recovery. If little improvement has been made, having exhausted all other options, surgery will then be considered.

So, that leaves me to the hear and now... the laying, the processing, the questioning...

My grandmother actually gave me a book when I arrived home as a gift. Sorry to admit, but there's always a bit of skepticism when you get a book from a grandparent... generations just communicate differently. However, I saw the name "Piper" written on the side, and was both enthused and encouraged. However, the feeling was short lived, after further investigation revealed it was written by a guy named Don Piper, as opposed to my assumptive John Piper. Being the arrogant author-judger I am, I tossed the book aside on my bed where I lay.

In the midst of one of pain spells, desparately looking for something in arms reach to distract myself, I picked up the book. Reading the cover, I saw it did have a forward from Blue Like Jazz author Donald Miller, so I figured there could be some decent content in it. So, I began to read.

90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper... a book that has both brought me through every realm of the emotional cycle, forcing me to process much of what I have been trying to cover up during this situation.

The stage is set, the backdrop is laid... the actual revelations to come...