Suffering to Learn - The Situation (Part 1)

The Situation

So, posts have been few and far between. The largest, and, well, basically only reason for that is my current medical situation. In mid-January I ended up pulling something in my lower back. After some initial care and rest, the pain eventually subsided, and I thought nothing else of it, as it was soon replaced by new stream of other phyiscal alignments (food poisoning, consequent hemorrhoid, immobilizing flu, etc.).

However, come mid-March I began noticing intense pain in my left leg, streaming my from my buttocks to about my knee, with occasional tingling and numbness. The condition continued to worsen, to the point where I wasn't even really able to stand or walk anymore. An MRI revealed that one of my discs in my spine had ruptured, cutting off and pinching the nerve strand that traveled to my left leg. Due to the severity of the rupture, I was immediately placed on a flight back to the United States to get treatment; a process that took about 72 hours after my realized condition (arriving home six weeks ahead of schedule).

So, as of today, I'm approaching four weeks of being completely bed-ridden. Minor improvements have been made, but those victories are small, such as being able to get up and stand long enough in the bathroom to brush my teeth. I'm undergoing phyiscal therapy for the next few weeks, as much of my muscle strength has diminished. I have an appointment scheduled with my surgeon on June 18, where we will evaluate my progress and recovery. If little improvement has been made, having exhausted all other options, surgery will then be considered.

So, that leaves me to the hear and now... the laying, the processing, the questioning...

My grandmother actually gave me a book when I arrived home as a gift. Sorry to admit, but there's always a bit of skepticism when you get a book from a grandparent... generations just communicate differently. However, I saw the name "Piper" written on the side, and was both enthused and encouraged. However, the feeling was short lived, after further investigation revealed it was written by a guy named Don Piper, as opposed to my assumptive John Piper. Being the arrogant author-judger I am, I tossed the book aside on my bed where I lay.

In the midst of one of pain spells, desparately looking for something in arms reach to distract myself, I picked up the book. Reading the cover, I saw it did have a forward from Blue Like Jazz author Donald Miller, so I figured there could be some decent content in it. So, I began to read.

90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper... a book that has both brought me through every realm of the emotional cycle, forcing me to process much of what I have been trying to cover up during this situation.

The stage is set, the backdrop is laid... the actual revelations to come...

Avoiding the Issue

“I firmly believe that witnessing is a learned talent. God burdens our hearts to reach the lost, but we must get out there and start practicing those conversations. The funny thing is, though, the more you practice, the easier it becomes.” – Mark Cahill

Let me start all this by drawing special attention to the word "easier" in the above quote. Not easy... easier. I won't be the first person to openly admit I continue to struggle with sharing my faith. Old fears still make there way to the surface almost every time. There are times I wish I was a fresh new believer, understanding the amazing grace of God for the first time, rather than letting the power of the gospel settle to the bottom of my soul as the years progress. I constantly need a shake up... needing something to break away that solidified sediment and once again re-saturate myself with the reality of the world around me. And, at least I say this to make myself feel better, I don't think I'm the only one...

I think a good portion of the church today operates under the assumption that if your not gifted at something, it sort of acts as an exempt card. I'm not trying to point fingers, as I often used that one myself. However, the flaw in this logic is fairly evident... if I don't have the gift of mercy, do I get freedom then to never show mercy? Or if I don't have the gift of giving, is it therefore okay if I never give? Of course not. Simply using the argument that if you're not gifted doesn't exclude you from what is clearly laid out in Scripture as a command. It becomes, in reality, a simple matter of obedience or disobedience.

Let's be honest. If we all truly gave ourselves a soul-check, we'd find the answer fairly easy that our fears of man are simply trumping our desire to be used by God, which is a saddening reality.

The life of a Christ-follower is proactive, not reactive. God blesses us as we pursue increasing our "capacity" to be used by Him. We often live a life saying, "God, do this and I'll trust you," while God says, "Trust me and I'll do this."

Maybe now would even be a good time to give yourself an honest heart-check...
Who am I sharing Christ with?
What does it look like? Typically, people who continue to live by fear make the excuse, "I'll share Christ by loving them." Actions and words are never separated... always linked.
Am I taking steps to share with people both by actions and words?


You're never more scared to share your faith than five minutes before, and never more excited to share your faith than five minutes after.

Being Trustworthy

Trust is a big thing in today's world. Because of past experiences and previous hurt and pain, people seem to become progressively less trusting. The common phrases heard today include "it takes years to gain trust, and seconds to loose it." And though I still concur with that statement, it seems though we've warped trust into this equivalent yoke of perfection. Consequently, as people are incapable of perfection, they continually fall short of this standard, which reaffirms one's hesitation to trust, and down the magic spiral we go.

Andy (I think I've mentioned him enough to go on a first-name basis) addresses this issue, and states that being trustworthy is NOT the equivalent of being flawless. However,

Trustworthy people address the gaps they've created

This comes with commitments from both parties. For the "offender":

1) I'll do what I said I'd do, and if I don't, you'll hear it from me, not from others
When there becomes a gap between what you expect and what you experience, or there is a falling short of the bar I said I would achieve, I will own up it. I won't simply wait around until people find out to address it, hoping that no one notices. Instead, my goal will to be "shot the gap" before it musters into anything.

2) If you confront me about gaps I created, I'll tell you the truth
I won't try to alter the evidence, I won't try to portray things in a different light, I won't try to make excuses... I will be firm and clear about gap.

For the "offendee," which is just as important:

1) If you address the gaps, I will respond in a secure and mature fashion
The reason more initiative isn't taken by the offender to own up to his/her gaps is because of fear linked with the other person's response. Now, approaching someone about failing to meet their expectations should never really be a joyous, singing-through-the-daisy-fields event, but individuals need to ask themselves what their history of gap awareness has communicated to others. If I respond as this little pit bull, ready to bite and smear a person's failure in their face, basically I've just communicated, "If you mess up again, you better do a better job of hiding it!" Cover up happens from fear, so we need to ask ourselves how much cover up is the direct result of our reaction.

From an organizational, and even personal, standpoint, the healthier culture you develop in addressing gaps the faster and more accurate information will get to you... which I think is the desire of everyone.

PrEFACE

You ever face problems in life? I know, me neither... BUT, just in case you ever do experience a problem, it's sometimes beneficial to have a systematic way to address it. The following is a problem-solving technique that I've grown quite found of:

PREFACE Problem-Solving Method

PRoblem - State the problem as clearly and comprehensively as possible. Vague problems will reap vague discernment.

Established Criteria - Determine what factors will cause you to choose one option over another. Here you will unearth your desires, values, principles, and objectives.

Facts - State what are the present givens that won't go away with reference to your stated problem. Here you list all facts relevant to your problem/decision.

Alternatives - Brainstorm a list of all possible solutions. Create options in light of the facts, that align with your criteria, and that address the problem.

Choose - Begin weighing the list of options against one another. Evaluate each option in regards to feasibility, criteria match, pros, cons, and scenario evaluation. Then determine your best option.

Execute - Now with your option chosen, begin developing a strategic plan to make the decision a reality.

Assumptions

Assumptions are often a list of dominant and unspoken principles that drive a person's or organization's decision-making behavior. For example, a decision to hold a men's event by playing basketball is concluded based off the assumption that men bond more easily by activities. However, even though assumptions play a vital role in decision-making, they are very rarely voiced or discussed.

Failure to voice and discuss these driving principles can result in:
- Grown tensions between team members through lack of understanding because of unvoiced conflicting assumptions
- Tendency to focus on the option-level of decision-making rather than addressing the root assumption-level driving the decisions
- Poor decisions because of unearthed assumptions that are wrong, or have become wrong with a changing culture

As I begin to think through my own ministry philosophy and attempt to unearth my assumptions, I will post them here to get your views/thoughts on.

Pride in Programming

Let's be honest... whenever you create something - whether it be a song, painting, or blog post - you typically think it's better than it really is. It becomes emotional... personal... With ministry, it's not that different. If you create something that seemingly works well, it's hard to look past the fog of emotion to ask the tough question of if it's really the most efficient option. Even harder, if you've been through some sort of program that changed your life, or a loved one's life, it's easy to get defensive when there is talk about change because of that attachment.

In the mid-1980s, when faced with a huge crisis at Intel, Andy Grove said, "If we got kicked out and the board brought in a new CEO, what do you think he would do? Why shouldn't you and I walk out the door, come back, and do it ourselves?"

In other words, if someone were to walk in with fresh eyes, simply viewing the organization through the lens of mission and vision, and no previous emotional attachment, what would they do? Then why don't we just do it ourselves? What a great quote!

Mutual Submission amidst Point Leadership

Tensions have long blossomed in leadership-world between the concepts of a flat versus hierarchical organizational structure (click here for a brief summary of each). In church world, this really doesn't seem to be that much different. With a continued focus toward Servant Leadership, people often tend to drift to the mindset that it contradicts a more hierarchical structure. Others dislike a more hierarchical approach because of past abuses generated by the point leader, or the guy at the top of the totem.

However, in a talk about leadership, Andy Stanley argues that just because something has been abused, doesn't mean it's something to be cast out (for example, I'm currently abusing a scarf by having it currently act as my dish towel - however, that wrong act isn't enough to get rid of scarfs altogether... okay, bad example, but anyway...). Andy argues that Servant Leadership, or mutual submission within the organization, is not at odds with Point Leadership, but instead they work together.

A couple points from his talk:

Do for one when you can't do for all

It's not feasible to do everything for everyone... that's just plain reality. However, it's easy to use that as an excuse to in turn do nothing. It's easy to think, "I can't do this for you, because if I do that for you, then I'll have to do that for EVERYONE..." The underlining assumption being made is that it is right to be "fair". However, fairness is not a Biblical value... fairness ended at the Garden of Eden. The desire to be fair often conflicts with the ability to do the right thing. "Should I let my son do this, when I didn't let my other son do that at his age?" A desire to be fair could easily inhibit you from doing the right thing. So, again, you can't do everything for everyone, but you try to do something for someone! You do for the one what you wish you could do for all (if it were feasible).

Systematize top-down service

Random acts of kindness are not enough. Leaders need a systematic, built-in component in which to serve others, which flows into the rhythm of their organization. How do you accomplish this? Well, at the end of the day it all comes down to the leader. The blunt truth is that leaders don't have to serve, but others have to serve them... that's just the nature of being at the top. So, incredible intentionality is needed on the leaders part, or else it will never happen. It starts with the leader. A more practical example? A leader needs to develop an organizational culture with a sustainable pace. Meaning, a leader needs a schedule where he has margin. Otherwise, if there is no cushion or margin, the leader will be so consumed with his own busyness of life that opportunities to serve will never arise. Margin allows us to serve.